Thursday, November 1, 2018

The myth of Mr. or Misses Right by Lynelle Clark

The things we believe about dating; is it all a figment of our imagination or do they really play a role in our choices?

Finally, after all the chats and meetings with different people you decide to give it a try with a special man/woman; opening yourself to him/her that had triggered all the right buttons during your search. The chemistry is just flowing without any hiccups, the conversation is priceless not to mention the physical side of it all – you are in heaven. You have a permanent glow on your face that supersedes the bright lights shining around you. You cannot get enough of one another looking for any possible opportunity to spend in each other’s company. It sounds so perfect, so idyllic.

However, to get there is not easy. You have invested so much time and energy on it all that you want to give up when the right person doesn’t appear – wondering if that person even exists. In addition, we keep on pushing prospective partners away that we can miss “the one” in the process. Our experiences are mostly to blame leaving us bitter with the rest of the world that seemed to be so happy all the time. Many times, you wish you are part of that world…the longing so strong that you will accept any attention that you receive and then we date people that we normally won’t be interested in or who is simply wrong for us.

 During our times of trial and error, we start to realize what works for us and what not. Although we don’t see the benefits, all those mistakes did make us wiser, stronger and we got good friends from it. Their input becomes valuable because you respect each other relaxing with them in a way that is comfortable without the tension of serious relationships.

During those times we have learned to understand and appreciate the kind of person that we will share our most intimate secrets with developing a long-term relationship based on understanding, trust and love. It is a knowing that is born deep within - without us realizing it – evident in the days to come; all because of that learning phase.

But, it can be troublesome, at times confusing… to say the least especially when you see friends walking hand in hand with Mr. or Misses Right.

If we are honest with ourselves we will acknowledge that we have this long list of requirements that keeps people at bay just to be messed up during that stage realizing later that one of the person’s was a perfect fit. We put so much stress on ourselves that we forget to enjoy life – not realizing that the person is there waiting for you to show up. You can only show up when you enjoy life…no one will meet you when in hiding; you should embrace life and life will embrace you.
With open arms.
That’s when things start to happen.

Once you meet that person your world tilts automatically right, every unplaced puzzle piece shift robotically into its own designated slot. It’s such an amazing feeling that you can hardly believe it yourself. It is like a wheel alignment: once all four wheels are balanced correctly everything else runs smoothly.

It can’t be explained with the mind only by the heart. Unless you don’t open nothing will happen, and it will only stay a myth in your world.
We choose our partner.
Our choices determine our life; not our circumstances.
It is simple truths that govern us.
Our attitude plays an important role and attracts a certain person towards us. When we are playful we will attract a person that loves to laugh. When we are serious we attract a quiet person that loves nature or reading. When we are out there doing the things that are important to us we will meet a person equally busy. In all these circumstances you attract a like-minded person: a person that understands…that looks deeper…loves your company.

Our ability to learn and adapt makes us open to receive the right person in our lives. Our willingness to look past the flaws at the person really seeing him/her helps us to accept a new relationship. We come from different backgrounds, had different experiences understanding life differently; especially older people look at life in general in our own way – our mind is made up and we look deeper, appreciate life more and accept the things that can’t be changed. Our past moulded us into the person that we are and that special one will accept you just for who you are.

How fortunate to meet a person and share our lives with him/her. Emptiness disappears within. Loneliness evaporates. All those wonderful things happen when we make the choice to invite a person in, embrace him/her within the folds of your privacy and cloak them with you. It is the best gift you can give someone close to you.       

There is no such thing as Mr. or Miss Right – sorry to burst your bubble. It is the ability to accept and give that makes a person right; to accept each other without demanding to change in a neat little vacuum. We are not vacuum-packers that fit in pre-determined holes. We are human beings that long to be accepted for who we are that is what makes us the acceptable person. The world puts enough pressure on us to be what we really aren’t but when we are with that special one the need to be “me” and accepted for “me” becomes a driving force. That is what makes it perfect.

Are you ready to meet that perfect person?
Or are you still in the trails phase?

Where ever you are, enjoy life – that is the secret.    

Copyright @Lynelleclark 2015 

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